Preschooler Talk

"The bears were flying along and then...they just died!"

"I'm sorry" "I forgive you." "That's right! You do forgive me!"

"Nora, you are beau-u-u-tiful!"

"I've got it! We have to step on mosquitoes to stop them and turn them into butterflies!"

"I got you a flower soooo, you can marry me now."

"Let's play the dead squirrel game!"

"Noah what do you wanna be when you grow up?
N: I want to be a super ninja who rescues squirrels!
M: Oh...hmmm...ok....Well, why do you want to be that? What do the squirrels need to be saved from?
N: I don't know--sometimes they just need me to rescue them! like this! "hi-yah, swish, punch, take that!"
m: Who's going to pay you?
 *silence*
N: I think maybe I'll be a fireman.

Friends! No sniffing each other's peanut butter!

Camp: An Old Journal Entry

One week can seem like an eternity—especially when you have a test on Friday. A week can also seem like a mere moment—especially when you are with people you love, doing things that you enjoy. But sometimes, a week can seem like both an eternity and still not long enough of an eternity to accomplish what you had hoped.

That is how I felt this past week.

I spent the last seven days counseling at Camp Koinōnia . Koinōnia is the Greek word for “fellowship” or “community,” and that is what we try to build during camp week. The campers range from 3^rd to 5^th grade, from ages seven to eleven. They also range in spiritual knowledge from the Sunday school smart aleck to the completely un-churched. Their socioeconomic status go from girls who brought two outfits—the only ones they owned—to girls who told me they got their hair high-lighted…every month. And yet somehow, they tell us, we are to make a community, a Koinōnia, out of this peculiar gathering of children.

And so, my co-counselor Cari and I do our best to unite this group of young girls. Not only that, but we strive to provide emotional and spiritual support, and share the gospel effectively. It is a huge mission and we only have a week to accomplish it.

1.     Create Koinōnia – Working on it…

2.     Support emotional and spiritual needs

Mariah* had huge burn marks down the backs of her legs. A large bruise in the shape of an adult hand loomed ugly and purple beneath the smooth, childlike skin on her thigh. A wound on her forehead and scars on her back fixed my conviction that my camper was a victim of abuse. It broke my heart. Mariah also had many behavioral and relational issues. Not only was she abused, she was also my cabin’s “problem child”—for some reason, I am attracted to troubled kids. There’s something frustrating yet intriguing to me about figuring out what motivates their actions. The insatiable drive to figure them out is rewarded, however rarely, by an infinitely satisfying feeling of helping fix what is broken inside of them.

But the process is long and hard.

Most days at camp, I feel so discouraged. After all, what can one week do in the life of a girl who probably only hears about Jesus a few times a year? Can you even begin to heal the hurt of abuse? Even if the child does improve, is there any chance it will last once they go home?

1.     Create Koinōnia– Working on it…next?

2.     Support emotional and spiritual needs – trying, but feel discouraged. Next?

3.     Share the Gospel effectively.

Last year, I wasn’t able to counsel at camp. But I still heard stories. It was a memorable year because, for the first time, a camper was sent home. Why? She punched another girl, declaring she “wasn’t and never would be sorry.”

I came to find out that this camper was Loretta*, one of my campers from a few years back. The year she was in my cabin, she supposedly gave her life to the Lord and got baptized in the camp pool—apparently it was merely an emotional response to the setting sun, soft music, stirring testimony, quiet sniffles, and flowing tears of counselors and campers alike.

A sad sort of horror hung around my heart when I heard about Loretta. I questioned whether it was possible for kids that young to be saved: was it possible for them to understand the Gospel? I questioned my abilities: did I explain the message of salvation poorly? I questioned my own knowledge: did I even know what the gospel was?

In the end, I learned that sometimes all you can do is love them and hope that someday they'll associate that love with the love of Christ. 

By the end of the week, my list reads:

1.     Create Koinōnia– Working on it…next?

2.     Support emotional and spiritual needs – trying, but feel discouraged. Next?

3.     Share the Gospel effectively.

1. Love them like Christ loves you

Lyrics to Contemplate: Go

Go

Sandra McCracken

Listen when you first wake,
your compass aligns
to the sounds of the morning
thoughts like tiny earthquakes
alive in your head
a light and a warning

Cartographic lines within your veins
following the sky’s endless terrain
see what you’re made of…

Go, on your own
go when you’re ready
brave girl you are smart
go when your heart is strong and is steady 

Diamonds are your words, babe,
Speak them slow, the wisdom is coming
Sure, the steps that you take
in sorrow and hope, your beauty becoming
Fire cannot burn the same place twice
lean toward the Day that breaks the night
so go and find out…

Go, on your own
go when you’re ready
Brave girl you are smart
go when your heart is strong and is steady

Hush the noises, hush your doubt
find your courage, draw it out
See a lantern just ahead, see the pillar glowing red and
Go, go if you want

go, on your own
go when you’re ready
brave girl you are smart
go when your heart is strong and is steady

For a free download of this song, click here

Adventures in Ameteur Photography

Thank you to Kendall and Georgie for posing as my beautiful models and helping take pictures!

Sisters

Sunlight #1

Sunlight #2 - love the colors on this one!

She's so beautiful!!

Kendall actually MADE the dress I'm wearing

My favorite!

Fun playing with Georgia

Why I Continue to Believe that Christ is Worth It

(This post is an excerpt from a paper I wrote last semester). 

          Perhaps you are wondering what the catch is, “Christianity cannot be that easy! I know that when you become a Christian you have to give up all sorts of things and follow all these rules. God has so many expectations.” Christianity may appear that way at first, but becoming a Christian is very different than this dismal picture. On first glance, it may seem difficult, but a closer examination reveals that Christ is the real treasure you've been searching for your entire life. 
                 Perhaps a story will make my point.  Once, Mommy and I were in the car—a question weighed on my 8-year-old heart and after a long contemplation, I finally asked, “Mommy, will Jesus bring my dollhouse to heaven?” 
             Mom raised an eyebrow,  “I don’t think so, Lynley. Why do you ask?”

            “Well, I’m not sure if I want to go to heaven if my dollhouse isn’t there. I would miss it. I really like playing with my dollhouse—it’s my favorite toy.” Mommy explained that I would not miss my dollhouse when I got to heaven because I would have Jesus. I remained skeptical, of course. How could I ever be happy without my dollhouse?
            Of course, we all laugh now because I have grown up. I no longer think I will miss my dollhouse in heaven, because I have outgrown my need for it—but at that time, my dollhouse was of great importance to me. Why? Because the pleasure I derived from the toy was immediate; it was right before me and instantly provided joy, entertainment, or an escape from the “hard stuff” (i.e. chores). At that age, I knew nothing of how I’d feel grown up—that I wouldn’t miss my dollhouse because I would be enlightened to all sorts of new things that were better than dollhouses.
              This mirrors how we relate to heaven and God. So often the phrase "pick up your cross" strikes terror into our hearts to think of losing or giving up the things that comfort us now. But this is because we are, in a way, children. We do not understand everything right now; we see only what is right before us. We cannot imagine life without our pitiful toys.
               But then God calls to us, telling us there is more to life than we presently see. “You will understand someday,” he tells us, “but until then, you will just have to trust that what I say is true. You won’t miss your old way of life once you grow-up spiritually.” If we believe and trust God, we will begin to grow up, and only gradually will we see why the dollhouse was no big deal. There are a lot of “dollhouses” in our lives that we do not want to give up because they seem necessary to our happiness—what we fail to see is that if we say “yes” to Jesus and learn to spend less time on the immediate pleasures around us, we will start to grow up. And once we’ve “grown up,” we’ll have a good laugh with Jesus remembering the time when we thought we needed those things to be happy.

ADHD Devotionals

There's very little sacred space
in this place, this head that
never stops turning. Churning,
always churning out a flutter of new thoughts,
none of which quite makes it
to the top
before I stop to smell a new flower,
and check an old box,
and chase after that thought I lost yesterday
in the usual way.

So Jesus, take this space,
this place,
this mind--
take my sacred space and time,
because they aren't truly
mine.

Thank You, Professor

The ever-enlightening wisdom bestowed upon me by professors :) 

"We're not trees, we're not roaches, we're not chairs--sorry for those of you who thought you were." - Dr. Becknell

"I would make a very attractive woman." - Dr. Becknell

"Oh no! This isn't a word document...I can't edit it...the administrative assistant PDF-ed it!" - Dr. Dolph 

"I used to write the number 9 on everything--eventually my mother said, 'No more nines!!'" - Dr. Becknell

"Freud said our thinking oozes from every pore. The question is, what are you oozing?" - Dr. Becknell