The Joys of a Student Grader

When asked to create a plan for spiritual development: 

"Beginning in December, I will ponder my contributions to the kingdom of God."

When asked what God's role in spiritual formation was...

"Our spiritual formation is formed around God."

When asked what happens internally to a person engaged in spiritual formation...

"A person engaged in spiritual formation changes internally."

No, really??

"Before conversion can even happen, there needs to be a person who can be converted, which implies one role of a person in conversion; they are necessary." 

How is this for a concluding sentence?

"So many ways I could work on my spiritual formation and grow in my knowledge and understanding of the lord."

 The Yoga Teacher:

"The Holy Spirit will even provide you a way out you just have to feel, listen, or look for it."  Namaste.

The Dentist: 

"An individual in this life is imperfect. There may be thousands of shades of imperfection, and an individual can try to move a few shades up or down (like using the teeth whitening strip)." 

The Manly-Man:

"The goal of spiritual formation, at it's root, is to develop such a strong relationship with Christ that we make him our best friend. I don't mean this in a corny way, so don't imagine someone who snuggles with his Bible."

The Toddler:

"I am only a child, so I'm used to having quiet time whenever I want, so having a roommate makes this more difficult." 

The Swimmer: 

"I want to make a daily practice of really diving and using the tools I learned this semester to more fully understand God's word applied in my life."

The Pharisee in-the-making: 

"Why did I [say "believe in your heart"] and skip confess with your mouth? Because if a person is deaf they can still be converted even though they cannot say it with their mouth."

Choose and convert ALL the people! 

"God's role in conversion is complete,  full, and literally all of conversion is from God. He even chooses those that will choose him, because if someone chooses him then they could boast."

God: the seventh member of the avengers

"Trusting in God also is [a] way to learn about God and what his powers are."

The role of the toilet in spiritual formation: 

"In attempts to bring the discipline of confession more fully into my life, I will meet with a close friend to relieve myself of the burden of certain sins."

"I think James says it so well when he says..."  A.K.A. I don't want to explain this, so I will just quote scripture.

Sounds strangely familiar...

"For God to put a fire in me for him that I can't contain and can't control." * 

Harry Potter meets Cedarville: 

"I have access to feedback and I have somewhat of an input and I will use my potion help the new church grow." 

Winners for Best Typos

"However there is more to spiritual formation than simply eating rid of our human nature."

"As we become spiritually formed, God constantly provides us with grade and redeems us from our sins."  

"The believer's role in spiritual formation is to peruse the Lord with all of their heart."

Other spiritually enlightening thoughts...

"In conversion of themselves they need to start living for God."

"Believers may be very smart and try to follow God but everyone is not perfect. We do things like be mean, rude, or non-holy." 

"[The gospel] is supposed to teach wisdom and has songs to praise God with."

"In other words, spiritual formation kind of works like a plant...that sounds a little stupid but it makes some sense."

Apparently, someone agrees with plant-guy: 

"God desires for us to stay close to him saying that if we grow apart we will end up weathering and dying."

"Matthew six is a treasure trove of verses that advises Christians to abandon worry."

"Spiritual formation is a roller coaster process that supersedes the believers commitment and love for God."

Winners for questionable grammar and most confusing sentences:  

"This verse (John 3:16) describes the acts of Jesus who gave us a blueprint so as how to live a G0d-oriented life from the point of redemption through death of this life." 

"The gospel is the books given to the believers to help us follow him by the stories and adventures the people of the Bible had."

"Also faith in works is where trusting God enough that when he tells us to do something in his way, we do it, the way God wants us to."

"Also it is evident in Galatians 6:8 that sows their own flesh are corruption and sowing for spirit and will have a eternal life."

"Explains the aiding process in which we are supposed to do."

"Knowing this we have to determine the meaning through other applications and figure out the meaning of the application that can be used."

"Luke 13:5 says, '...unless you repent you too will perish.' and makes that this too is also a necessary part of conversion, to turn from our old life to a new life with Christ as the Lord of our lives."

"As Paul elaborate I can a struggle that I know I face, that Paul may have been hinting at."

Note: all typos in above sentences are original to the papers. 

*directly out of a Christian worship song called, "Set a Fire"

Professor Ingle Quote of the Day!

"What makes a yellow-throated warbler a yellow-throated warbler? The fact that it's yellow-throated warbler."

"Naming things is a way to exert dominion over them--that's why Adam named the animals. And that's why we name our children. As a matter of fact, that's why we give them 3 names...more power!"

Poetry: The All-Nighter

Un-make-up-ed face and

Eye-balls race

To ends of lines

And thesis defines

Keyboard clatters and

Slowly splatters grey matter

When pulling an all-nighter. 

Dr. Sullivan Quote of the Day!

Some fun quotes from our wonderful bioethics professor:

Whenever we ask about APA formatting: "I don't care about your niggely little complications--Lord save us from the bean counters!!" 


Student: Can we do this for extra credit?
Dr. Sullivan: I don't know if I want to allow you to genetically enhance this course.

Dr. Marsh Quote of the Day!

"…then we had the west trying to excommunicate the entire east side of the church. And that was a funny, sad story…." 

Dr. Ingle Quote of the Day!

"Why is this equation important? Because lo and behold, I am the person who makes the exam and I just said it was important. So you should know it."

Dr. Hwang Quote of the Day!

All a part of taking testing and measurement at a Christian college:

"Salvation is your criterion reference...Jesus is your score transformation."

"Construct validity--you identify the behaviors that are manifestations of that construct. For example, love. How do you know if he loves you? You can't see the construct of love, so you use behavior to test his love. I'd say the size of the diamond works well for construct validation."

Professor Ingle Quote of the Day!

"I do have a masters degree, so you could call me 'Master Ingle.' I think I would like that."

Quirks of Evangelical Christians - II

Thou Shalt Not...

Say ANYTHING about works while presenting the gospel. Do not mention potential martyrdom, necessity of faith and works together, suffering, or any other such troubling teachings.

Thou Shalt Instead...

Present gospel message using colored beads - 3 of which must be the colors black (sin), red (Jesus' blood), and white (cleansing from sin). The acronym ABC (Admit sin, Believe, Confess Jesus as Savior) and/or the Roman's Road are also appropriate. 

Reason: 
Well, it's just how we've always done it. Plus, we wouldn't want someone to reject the gospel because following Christ is difficult and requires total transformation - we prefer to let them figure out that little detail for themselves after conversion. Additionally, colors and acronyms are catchy and "gospel beads" bracelets make a good VBS craft. 

The Power of Story

I will let this poem speak for itself. 

At The Smithville Methodist Church

by Stephen Dunn

It was supposed to be Arts & Crafts for a week, 
but when she came home 
with the "Jesus Saves" button, we knew what art 
was up, what ancient craft. 

She liked her little friends. She liked the songs
they sang when they weren't 
twisting and folding paper into dolls.
What could be so bad?

Jesus had been a good man, and putting faith
in good men was what
we had to do to stay this side of cynicism, 
that other sadness.

Ok, we said, One week. But when she came home
singing "Jesus loves me,
the Bible tells me so," it was time to talk.
Could we say Jesus

Thou Shalt Not - The Quirks of Evangelical Christians

Connotations--the baggage we place with words--hold strong sway over us as human beings. In the Evangelical community this can take on a particularly amusing religious flavor. Thus begins my first venture to record some the unusually funny "Thou Shalt Nots" of Protestant Evangelicals. (Please note that this is not intended to offend, but merely to amuse.)

Thou Shalt Not...
Use the words "Metaphor" and "Scripture" in the same sentence.

Thou Shalt Instead...
Use the words "literal" and "inerrant" in great excess.

Reason:
Because metaphors are deceiving vehicles of untruth and literature cannot be both metaphorical and true at the same time. Unless of course we are talking about C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolken, in which case we must point out to everyone that their books are metaphors/allegories for Christian themes.

(You know it's true! ^_^)

Faith Like a Child

I stare at a class room full of wiggly, noisy, joyful bundles of ​energy.

​ "Say Cheeeese!" I tell the ten 4-year-olds standing in front of me. They all smile back, eager to get their picture taken. As soon as my camera snaps they all clamor around me with noisy wishes of, "Can I see?? I wanna see it!"  

*   *   *

We talked about Pentecost this week--the celebration of God sending His Spirit to dwell in the hearts of His people. In an effort to bring the story to life, we crafted "fire" headbands replica​ting fire appeared over the heads of the disciples when they first received the promised Spirit. 

Despite the cheery atmosphere, I wonder how much they actually learn. Surely a preschooler's grasp of concepts like the Holy Spirit is rather limited? As a teacher, I desire comprehension. I also recognize that the point of the lessons isn’t for my students to gain complete theological understanding. I forget so often that most young children have yet to make decisions to follow Christ. Ministry to children is every bit of an evangelistic field as ministering to unsaved adults. 

I may not remember all of what my Sunday School teachers taught me, but I do remember the ones who went out of their way to love me, invest in me, and make me feel special. I once had a professor who used to tell us to be "Jesus with skin on," and that, I realized, is what I want to be to these children. At Mountview Christian Preschool, our job as teachers is to make the gospel look attractive by living it out. 

*  *  *

In the morning we recite our mini-catechism: "What is God?" I ask them--the answer is "God is a Spirit"--but Jacob, my sweet four-year-old friend replies with fervor, "God is a spearmint!" 

Alright, we may not display comprehensive knowledge of the Holy Spirit after this week. But someday when these students make their own decisions about Christ, I hope they can at least look back and say, "I had teachers in preschool who were Christians--they really loved me and took the time to care about me. Maybe Christ cares about me that way, too." 

How NOT to Turn Down a Date

While discussing the boys who have asked us out, my friends and I compared notes on the ways we have turned them down, or ways we've wanted to. Hint: Do not follow our example. 

"Here's my standard. Here's where you are. Try again." 

"I'm not playing hard to get. I am hard to get." 

"You seem structurally unstable." 

Boy: "Can I buy you dinner?" Girl (working as sales clerk): "No, but you can buy this vacuum." 

"Sorry, I'm busy for the next five years. Every night." 

"Come hither--wait, but not that close!" 

"Sorry...I'm just...not...where...God wants me...yet."

7 Things You Should Never Say in a Paper

Funny moments while grading student papers:

Who wrote that?

"Paul says in James 1:22..." 

The circular sentence...

"When a person is engaged in spiritual formation, what they do will not be contrary to what they are engaged in." 

Oh really?

"Jesus himself is telling us if you have faith you can do so many things and more. " 

The Glow-in-the-Dark Christian

"As a person engaged internally in spiritual formation, it should radiate from within." 

The Hipster Christian

"External actions are things like going to church, attending a bible study, or talking to someone about what Christ has done for you over a cup of coffee." 

What does God do?

"God provides provision for his followers."

Answering the prompt: "Make a plan to promote your spiritual formation in the next 6 months."

"I personally don't think a 'six month plan' is really a good idea." 

Every Other Day: A Short Story

It all began with Tib - as things often did. And like all good stories, the conflict came with a young man. His boyishly handsome physique - and perhaps, his heart for the mission field - made Carter Reichart the near perfect recipient of my friend's affections. There was only one flaw Carter possessed; he had a history. He had dated most of the girls in our youth group - those he hadn't, probably because they had "kissed dating goodbye." This fault was nearly overcome by his persistent pursuit of Tib, but one ill-judged decision made his fate nearly final.

Tacy's fancy was proven to focus on a less attainable target; the youth group's philanthropist. The problem was that tender-hearted Jacob had no apparent interest in my love-sick companion. When Owen came knocking - however lightly and undecidedly - a slightly disgruntled Tacy warmed to the idea of him more readily, perhaps in part for the pleasure of finally being acknowledged. Owen seemed, at least at first, to be a very viable option, his only fault being that he was the best friend of Betsy's ex, and said the words "covenant" and "penal" in great excess. However, his subsequent disinterest in missions and also somewhat shady past made him an object of suspicion by both Tib and Betsy.

Top 5 Posts of 2012

Enjoy what you've been reading? Take a look at the Northern Belle's top 5 most viewed blog posts of 2012.

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The Cost of Comfortable

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made - Part 2

Book Review: Freakonomics

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book was a fun and interesting read. Like economics, psychology also deals heavily with asking questions about incentives, trends, and why people do what they do--thus, I found the questions asked by Levitt and Dubner quite appealing. The book was well-written, and I was pleasantly surprised to find it  well balanced and unbiased. The authors have a gift for explaining complicated (and possibly boring) material in an easily understandable manner that is both fascinating and entertaining. I will look forward to seeing how their theories and predictions play out in the future.


View all my reviews

Most Popular Baby Names for 2012

The Social Security Administration has released the official rankings of the most popular baby names in American for 2012

RANK	BOYS	GIRLS
1	Jacob	Sophia
2	Mason	Emma
3	Ethan	Isabella
4	Noah	Olivia
5	William	Ava
6	Liam	Emily
7	Jayden	Abigail
8	Michael	Mia
9	Alexander	Madison
10	Aiden	Elizabeth

To compare to the name rankings for 2011, visit this page. 

From the website: http://www.babynamewizard.com/archives/2013/5/the-most-popular-baby-names-in-america-for-2012

Dr. Johnson Quote of the Day!

"I'm so sorry! I was only trying to make fun of a stereotype...and there you happen to be it."

Smart College Students

We tried to be productive at our group project meeting tonight, and perhaps we did accomplish something. However, I think it speaks to the quality of my group's interactions when I say that below is the entirety of the notes that I took from the session: 

"Feminism is evil." - Matt

"The worldview view." -From Lynley's book summary 

"I'm here to humble you." - Caleb

"It's indigenous art, you idiot!" -Taylor

"I love partisian sandwiches." - Jonathan teasing my incorrect pronunciation of the word partisan

Caleb: "Lynley, Matt's plotting your murder." 

Matt: "I am not! Caleb started it!" 

Caleb: "I did not...it was clearly you!" 

Matt: "Why does everyone always think it's me??" 

Lynley: "Because you hate feminists." 

Needless to say, I love my friends. :) 

What He Understood

These are the things that my Savior understood. 

He understood what it is like to be unimportant in the world - He had no stately form or majesty that we should look at him.

He understood what it is like to feel ugly and unattractive - He had no appearance that we should be attracted to him. 

He understood what it is like to feel desolate and lonely - He was despised and forsaken by men.

Disability Legislation

I came across a fascinating article in the New York Times on employing people with disabilities (see the article here). I couldn't help but think that my mother, despite having a son with disabilities herself, would probably not desire the potential legislation on which the article was reporting. This legislation proposed steps would require more of businesses and schools in the way of hiring and accommodating people with disabilities or special needs.

While I agree with my mom that perhaps this new legislation encroaches perhaps too much on the freedoms of businesses, there is a frustration I experience when I read a paragraph like this one from the article:

Dr. Clauson Quote of the Day!

"There were many sects of Puritans. There were the Dissenters, Separatists, Congregationalists, Virgin Life Livers...they didn't last long..."

Dr. Mortenson Quote of the Day!

"[Before the Baroque period], we had a lot of God music. That is to say, only God and people with doctorates in musicology understood it."

Came Not to be Served

"After this, He poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet..."

Am I Serving God with Reserve?

An excerpt from my devotion this morning. It was so rich that I could not help sharing. As you read this, allow the words to penetrate your mind and to sink into your heart. 

"Natural love expects some return, but Paul says--I do not care whether you love me or not, I am willing to destitute myself completely, not merely for your sakes, but that I may get you to God  "For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor." Paul's idea of service is exactly along that line---I do not care with what extravagance I spend myself, and I will do it gladly. It was a joyful thing to Paul. 

"The ecclesiastical idea of a servant of God is not Jesus Christ's idea. His idea is that we serve Him by being the servants of other men. Jesus Christ out-socialists the socialists. He says that in His Kingdom he that is greatest shall be the servant of all. The real test of the sain is not preaching the gospel, but washing disciples' feet, that is, doing the things that do not count in the actual estimate of men but count everything in the estimate of God. Paul delighted to spend himself out for God's interests in other people, and he did not care what it cost. We come in with our economical notions--"Suppose God wants me to go there--what about the salary? What about the climate? How shall I be looked after? A person must consider these things." All this is an indication that we are serving God with reserve. Paul focuses Jesus Christ's idea of a New Testament saint in his life, viz., not one who proclaims the gospel merely, but one who becomes broken bread and poured-out wine in the hands of Jesus Christ for other lives."  (From My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)

The question is, am I serving God with reserve? Does my idea of Christian service look like Jesus' or the world's?

"And others are the ones on whom seed was sown among the thorns; these are the ones who have heard the word, but the worries of the world, the deceitfulness of external possessions, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful." Mark 4:18-19

In the face of these piercing words I can only cry like the Tax Collector, "God be merciful to me, a sinner." 

Dr. Mills Quotes of the Day!

"Well, now we'll move from Valentines Day...to Marx and the oppression of humankind." 

"It's as if they're saying, 'Buy this [mouthwash], or you'll be alone....FOREVER!'"

Dr. Mills telling a story about two greedy people...

"'Haha! Now I have a concrete goose and you don't.' 'Well fine then, I'll steal your concrete goose!' 'Hey! This is not cool!'"

Dr. Markham Quote of the Day!

"I once broke up with a boy because he didn't like apples. Who doesn't like apples?"


"Unfortunately [for behavioral scientists], college students don't usually peck and sniff in corners."

Dr. Ham's Relationship Advice of the Day!

"Stalking is ok if you're really in love...or if the other person doesn't know about it."

7 - An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess

I read a book not too long ago called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.  Not only was this book inspiring and hilarious - I found myself clutching my sides with laughter more often then not - this book also motivated me to action. Here's a synopsis of the 7 story:

"American life can be excessive, to say the least. That’s what Jen Hatmaker had to admit after taking in hurricane victims who commented on the extravagance of her family’s upper middle class home. She once considered herself unmotivated by the lure of prosperity, but upon being called “rich” by an undeniably poor child, evidence to the contrary mounted, and a social experiment turned spiritual was born.

7 is the true story of how Jen (along with her husband and her children to varying degrees) took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence.

Dr. Ham Quotes of the Day!

"I'm rebelling against God today...I'm going to wear polyester!"

After we had just read Exodus...

" I used to make my students read all of Leviticus and Numbers, but then I heard the groaning of my people..."

Dr. Ham Quotes of the Day!

"What I'm really trying to do is look into your heart. But I can't, so I look at the attendence sheet."


"For Christians, this is how it goes. Narnia? Magic good. Harry Potter? Magic Bad."

Dr. Markham Quote of the Day!

"In psychology during this time, they were decapitating pigeons for research purposes. It really helped us learn a lot about brain anatomy. (awkward pause) Oh, don't get me wrong...I mean, I think birds are beautiful...I even feed the birds!"