Dr. Hwang Quote of the Day!

All a part of taking testing and measurement at a Christian college:

"Salvation is your criterion reference...Jesus is your score transformation."

"Construct validity--you identify the behaviors that are manifestations of that construct. For example, love. How do you know if he loves you? You can't see the construct of love, so you use behavior to test his love. I'd say the size of the diamond works well for construct validation."

Professor Ingle Quote of the Day!

"I do have a masters degree, so you could call me 'Master Ingle.' I think I would like that."

Quirks of Evangelical Christians - II

Thou Shalt Not...

Say ANYTHING about works while presenting the gospel. Do not mention potential martyrdom, necessity of faith and works together, suffering, or any other such troubling teachings.

Thou Shalt Instead...

Present gospel message using colored beads - 3 of which must be the colors black (sin), red (Jesus' blood), and white (cleansing from sin). The acronym ABC (Admit sin, Believe, Confess Jesus as Savior) and/or the Roman's Road are also appropriate. 

Reason: 
Well, it's just how we've always done it. Plus, we wouldn't want someone to reject the gospel because following Christ is difficult and requires total transformation - we prefer to let them figure out that little detail for themselves after conversion. Additionally, colors and acronyms are catchy and "gospel beads" bracelets make a good VBS craft. 

The Power of Story

I will let this poem speak for itself. 

At The Smithville Methodist Church

by Stephen Dunn

It was supposed to be Arts & Crafts for a week, 
but when she came home 
with the "Jesus Saves" button, we knew what art 
was up, what ancient craft. 

She liked her little friends. She liked the songs
they sang when they weren't 
twisting and folding paper into dolls.
What could be so bad?

Jesus had been a good man, and putting faith
in good men was what
we had to do to stay this side of cynicism, 
that other sadness.

Ok, we said, One week. But when she came home
singing "Jesus loves me,
the Bible tells me so," it was time to talk.
Could we say Jesus

Thou Shalt Not - The Quirks of Evangelical Christians

Connotations--the baggage we place with words--hold strong sway over us as human beings. In the Evangelical community this can take on a particularly amusing religious flavor. Thus begins my first venture to record some the unusually funny "Thou Shalt Nots" of Protestant Evangelicals. (Please note that this is not intended to offend, but merely to amuse.)

Thou Shalt Not...
Use the words "Metaphor" and "Scripture" in the same sentence.

Thou Shalt Instead...
Use the words "literal" and "inerrant" in great excess.

Reason:
Because metaphors are deceiving vehicles of untruth and literature cannot be both metaphorical and true at the same time. Unless of course we are talking about C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolken, in which case we must point out to everyone that their books are metaphors/allegories for Christian themes.

(You know it's true! ^_^)

Faith Like a Child

I stare at a class room full of wiggly, noisy, joyful bundles of ​energy.

​ "Say Cheeeese!" I tell the ten 4-year-olds standing in front of me. They all smile back, eager to get their picture taken. As soon as my camera snaps they all clamor around me with noisy wishes of, "Can I see?? I wanna see it!"  

*   *   *

We talked about Pentecost this week--the celebration of God sending His Spirit to dwell in the hearts of His people. In an effort to bring the story to life, we crafted "fire" headbands replica​ting fire appeared over the heads of the disciples when they first received the promised Spirit. 

Despite the cheery atmosphere, I wonder how much they actually learn. Surely a preschooler's grasp of concepts like the Holy Spirit is rather limited? As a teacher, I desire comprehension. I also recognize that the point of the lessons isn’t for my students to gain complete theological understanding. I forget so often that most young children have yet to make decisions to follow Christ. Ministry to children is every bit of an evangelistic field as ministering to unsaved adults. 

I may not remember all of what my Sunday School teachers taught me, but I do remember the ones who went out of their way to love me, invest in me, and make me feel special. I once had a professor who used to tell us to be "Jesus with skin on," and that, I realized, is what I want to be to these children. At Mountview Christian Preschool, our job as teachers is to make the gospel look attractive by living it out. 

*  *  *

In the morning we recite our mini-catechism: "What is God?" I ask them--the answer is "God is a Spirit"--but Jacob, my sweet four-year-old friend replies with fervor, "God is a spearmint!" 

Alright, we may not display comprehensive knowledge of the Holy Spirit after this week. But someday when these students make their own decisions about Christ, I hope they can at least look back and say, "I had teachers in preschool who were Christians--they really loved me and took the time to care about me. Maybe Christ cares about me that way, too." 

How NOT to Turn Down a Date

While discussing the boys who have asked us out, my friends and I compared notes on the ways we have turned them down, or ways we've wanted to. Hint: Do not follow our example. 

"Here's my standard. Here's where you are. Try again." 

"I'm not playing hard to get. I am hard to get." 

"You seem structurally unstable." 

Boy: "Can I buy you dinner?" Girl (working as sales clerk): "No, but you can buy this vacuum." 

"Sorry, I'm busy for the next five years. Every night." 

"Come hither--wait, but not that close!" 

"Sorry...I'm just...not...where...God wants me...yet."