Break (in Terms of Biology)

I love break. It's truly wonderful to get away from college life for an entire week. However, I'm having considerable trouble adjusting back into normal society. Perhaps if you are a college student, you understand my plight.

1) Species Diversity within a Population

Who knew there were so many different kinds of people? The world isn't completely made up of 18-20 something, college students and a few professors. Who knew?! In addition, these many people do the strangest thing. They go shopping at expensive stores like Target. I honestly don't understand how anyone can afford anything but Wal-Mart. And not only that, but they actually stroll around at a leisurely pace while they shop and buy things to entertain themselves. Don't they have homework to do?

2) Habitats

My life revolves around a 12' x 8' cinderblock dorm room and a backpack. How my family of four can take up a 1600 square foot house is a mystery to me. I mean, if two people can live in a 12' x 8' room, then surely 4 people only need two of those, right? I feel like I'm in a mansion!

3) Ecosystems

Another thing that surprised me upon coming home, is that there are these constraining social rules about meals. It baffles me that I can't just walk through the kitchen, grab the food I want, sit down to do homework while I eat it, get up when I want to be done, throw my dishes on a conveyor belt, and leave. Oh, the mysteries of living amongst non-college students.

4) Symbiosis

I spend all semester at the bottom of the college food chain. Not only am I student, but I'm also a freshman - can you say stunning example of predation? I find it very understandable that when I come home on break, I would like to spend some time being a carefree parasite*, but certain organisms (a very stubborn species called the human mother), are bent on having our symbiotic relationship be more mutualistic**.

*Parasite: One species is able to live at the other's expense
**Mutualism: A relationship that provides benefits to both species

5) Natural Resources

I've found that these are scarce among the populations of normal humans. For one, they do not have near enough outlets in their habitats. Oddly enough, this seems to work out since they have these foreign contraptions called "desktop computers" that are not moveable. Secondly, where in heavens are the desks? How does anyone get anything done without desks? Also, as my roommate pointed out, this non-college species lacks severely in coffee.



Hmmm...perhaps it's time to get back to school.