Questionable Theology (Part 4)

And now for the fourth installment of this semester's "Joys of Grading" series:

My all-time favorite quote from this semester:
"Conversion is the starting point of this journey; it is the "death of the old person" and the "birth of the new" person. This is not say that there are two different souls dwelling inside a person like a 'white dog' and a 'black dog.'" 

"We are to blindly follow and obey wherever he leads us." 

"As it says in 1 Thes. 4:2 'this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fortification.'" 

“In general people have a very easy role in conversion. All they have to do is, well, nothing really.”

"Conversion is an instantaneous miracle. It is something that hits you suddenly and you feel and believe your sins and they look very real to you." 

"Through this I hope to constantly remind myself of what it means to be a disciple and examine my faith. At the end if I find myself to be a Christian, I will be successful." 

"Spiritual formation is not something that can't be measured by human means. To ask 'how much' spiritual formation can be obtained is similar asking how much marriage can be obtained in this life....Rather, spiritual formation is a tapestry consisting of different rates, different 'colors' etc."

"A bad example of faith that I can think of is the wind. We cannot see it, but we can see the effects of it. And we also can hear, smell, taste, and feel it, which is why I said it was a bad example. Another example that I've heard before involves a chair..." Oh brother.

"This world is still broken, and even though people don't in sin anymore, they still stumble into it." 

Did you like what you read?
Read part 1 here.
Read part 2 here.
Read part 3 here.

Tell Me How

A poem for those who went before me. 

*     *     *     *     *

Tell me how to know this bundle of firing neurons, 
when people keep trying to rewire me.

Tell me how to survive the “culture wars,” 
when I refuse to choose one side.

Tell me how to fit somewhere,
when I’m a piece from a different puzzle.

Tell me how to hope so heavy,
when hopeful heavy hearts live painful.

Tell me flesh and blood has walked here before, 
Tell me your story built with tear-soaked mortar.
Tell me how the curtain tore,
Tell me what the hell I’m living for.

Because if you don’t I might give up.

My only fear is that if
I give up,
I won’t be able to
tell the next me how I got 
here.

An afterthought:

Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your own blood,

and as you lay there in your blood,

I said to you,

‘Live!’ 

Break-Up Recovery Kit

Most of us have broken up with a boy at least once in our lives. It's sad, painful, and utterly heart-wrenching. Breaking up leaves you practically senseless.

That's why you really need the new break up recovery kit! Say goodbye to the conventional break-up routines of crying on a friend's shoulder, eating chocolate (and/or an entire carton of ice cream), and going through a box of tissues in a few hours. This new break-up recovery kit has everything you need from a male candle (because you know you want to burn their head off) and female candle (for who knows why) all the way to helpful therapeutic modalities such as Separation Oil, Break-Up Incense, and "Keep Away Enemies" Soap. 

Instructions for use: 

1. Begin burning the male/female candle (guy if you're a girl and vice versa if you're a guy). Feel free to carve your ex's name into the candle for greater effect. 
2. Take the remaining candle and turn it to face the burning candle. They can watch. 
3. Separation Oil - pour all over body. If your ex tries to catch you, you'll slip right out of his fingers. 
4. Break-up Incense - burn regularly. The stench will prevent any man from coming near you for a very long time. 
5. Keep Away Enemies Soap - Wave this soap in front of all enemies and they will magically be "washed away."

You can have all this and more for the great price of $39.99! And yes, this kit is actually available for purchasing here! 

The College Student's Immune System

Sometime within the first 3 weeks of the semester: 
"AHH! So many people! So many germs!! Cannot fight them all!" 
You get a small cold

First half of semester until flu vaccine:
"Healthy, healthy, healthy..."

After flu vaccine:
"This kid hasn't eaten nutritious food in 2 months, they're sleep-deprived, and stressed...and they just got a vaccine. OVERLOAD!"

After finals week: 
Somehow, your immune system knows you need to make it through finals. You deprive yourself of sleep, eat snack foods because you can't stop studying to get a meal (not to mention you eat at incredibly irregular hours), and possibly don't shower as often as you should. But it's not until the morning after you get home that your immune system finally says, "Well, now that you're done being stressed, we need to clean house. Time to be SICK!"

Other Spiritual Insights (Part 3)

"Prayer is huge part of spiritual formation, having that direct relationship with God. That is such a huge deal." (Ginormous, really.)

"If you do not believe the gospel, how then is it possible to pursue a relationship with Christ and grow closer to him? It is like getting married to a woman that you do not believe exists. If you do not believe she exists, then why should you feel the need to spend time with her?"
(Or better yet, HOW did you marry her?)

"Lives of spiritual formation are characterized by thoughts becoming action and action becoming change." (Does change become dollars?)

"The person's role, simply put, is to follow Jesus. This is not to say that we are to follow him in physical direction (obviously, since he not on earth at that moment)..." (Glad you clarified. I was getting confused...)

Spiritual Formation as Brought to You by... (Part 2)

The time traveler:
"I will measure [my progress in spiritual formation] on May 8, 2012 by reciting 150 verses from memory."

The garbage man:
"Our outward being is a reflection of our soul, which before Christ is like a putrid landfill, which needs to be in a constant state of improvement."

The mathematician:
"An inverse correlation to the level spiritual formation in one's life is the amount of sin still present."

The future orthopedic surgeon:
"These things are indeed the "bare bones" of spiritual discipline; that being said, they also construct the skeleton of spiritual formation as a whole, and should therefore be taken very seriously."

The cattle herder:
“Jesus died for our sin so that we can be converted, and God pokes and prods and shoves us until we believe.”

The schizophrenic:
“Listening can be so hard to do…my mind is constantly going and talking to me.”

Join the Northern Belle next week for Part 3: "Interesting Spiritual Insights" 
See Part 1 here.

The famous "sentence-that-means-absolutely-nothing" (Part 1)

Part 1 of 4 posts to come on the joys of grading student papers. Enjoy!

"The immediate goal of spiritual formation is to nourish and maintain the goals..."


"In many respects, [conversion] is the single most 'solo' decision one can make."

"They should be striving every day to become a disciple of Christ which involves being very discipled."


"During spiritual formation one wants to constantly strive to develop their spiritual formation."